Frayed Thoughts on “Touch,” Random Access Memories’ Centerpiece

I’m still puzzling together my thoughts on Random Access Memories. Already, a couple of my least favorite songs have been seriously reevaluated as ones I enjoy, and the battle for best track still rages between Giorgio and Williams. But Williams absolutely has the album’s “best moment” in Touch, a towering epic with more grandiosity and pomp than any Daft Punk track ought to have.

If you haven't heard the album yet, but you have heard "Get Lucky," you're okay to dive right into "Touch," Daft Punk's collaboration with songwriter Paul Williams.

Less so than Paul Williams’ desperate opening or closing vocals, the robotic coo of “Hold on, if love is the answer, you’re home…” is easily the most gorgeous melodic line on Random Access Memories, and probably in Daft Punk’s career. It shouldn’t be a surprise; it’s the same kind of simplistic, uncomplicated sentiment with which Williams asked us why there are so many songs about rainbows.

But the rest of Williams’ vocal is far more bitter, uncomfortably recalling human contact long past and the empty promises of relationship. It’s a weird song about alienation, performed with Isaac Hayes-like instrumentation until suddenly it isn’t. The trumpet section is emotionally confusing; the song’s shifts from funk to jazz to chorale are sudden. Maybe the joy of touch (portrayed as a danceable ragtime jazz sequence?) ultimately leads to comfort in the chorus?

“If love is the answer, you’re home…hold on.”

Why “hold on?” Are we worried the narrator is not wanting to hold on? Sorry, obvious rhetorical question; let's try again. Are we telling him to be patient, or just not to give up? Williams’ vocal is weak, not forceful, and the spare loneliness of its a capella is a stark contrast to the massive production on the rest. Are we worried our narrator is about to commit suicide? Emotional suicide?

It ends on a version of the refrain that claims touch has “given too much to feel,” a sentiment more reminiscent of The Wall than The Muppet Show, indicating self-isolation as the result. It’s a weird emotional centerpiece for this album to have about the emptiness of contact; RAM will end on a song very literally about contact with aliens, but more about the excitement of discovery.

I probably have more to say about Random Access Memories, but I’m not sure if it’ll come in the form of reviews or in more incomplete little posts like this. I really want to write something about my odyssey through the entire David Bowie discography a few months ago, and I really need to write about Modern Vampires Of The City. The pop charts are flooding with R&B, and it'll be fun to take that on. And, of course, the year’s third “event” album in Yeezus is just around the corner, and I pretty much can’t help but write about Kanye West.

I’m excited to be writing again; expect more soon.

2012 IN POP MUSIC: A RETROSPECTIVE

So, the Grammys are tonight. I’m probably not going to watch them. That’s not because I have no interest; on the contrary, I’d love to see Justin Timberlake, Taylor Swift, and Adele perform, and the performances by Chuck D and Sting/Bruno Mars sound magnificently weird. But I’d be watching them alone online (if I can watch them at all) as I don’t have a TV in my room right now. I’m not clear on whether or not they’re actually going to stream the broadcast; they are, however, streaming the Red Carpet and the pre-telecast awards. If I can watch, I might, but the energy will largely be gone from watching with a room full of people who feel like yelling at the screen when Kelly Clarkson inevitably wins Song of the Year.

But the Grammys convinced me that it was worth releasing my (extremely late) 2012 pop music write-up. In case you didn’t already know, I really do like pop music. Quite a bit, it turns out. While I’ve been working on listening to albums for review, I’ve been going back to the pop music of 2012 to pick me up when I’m driving or walking from class to class.

2012 has been a pretty strange year for pop music. Two of the top three Billboard hits of the year were not even definitively “pop songs,” with the indie rock of Gotye and fun. reshaping the way we think about pop music. Their efforts would have been ineffective without the work Adele performed last year, but their style has supplanted Adele’s somewhat, with groups like Imagine Dragons, Neon Trees, and The Lumineers all netting Top 100 hits. To be clear, this is a year where Rick Ross has officially been chased off the charts, while Lil Wayne doesn’t have a single song to call his own. This is kind of crazy.

But let’s hit it. I’m gonna write about my favorite and least favorite songs and trends of 2012 in regards to pop music. I’m going to mostly be focusing on songs that released as singles in 2012 that achieved year-end Hot 100 status. Why “released as singles in 2012?” Well, so I don’t use this as an opportunity to tell you how glad I am that Rolling in the Deep is still playing, or that I’m glad songs from Watch The Throne made the year-end charts. And why “year-end charters?” Also so that I make it clear that I’m covering “hit” songs, which is more relevant in terms of worst songs than best. Obviously, there will be more incompetent music released in 2012 than some of my listed “worsties.” But I can easily cover 100 songs, and so I’m going to do so.

But, first, a quick look back at 2011.

MY 2011 LIST, AND REFLECTIONS

I…well, I goofed in my treatment of Adele. Sorry, guys. I’ve come to recognize that “Someone Like You” is a pretty brilliant piece, even if Adele’s voice on the chorus has issues. Dropped an octave or two, it’s drop-dead gorgeous from the first note. And Rolling in the Deep should probably sneak up the list at a pretty rapid rate.

The rest of those best songs? I still like them, but they haven’t stayed powerful throughout the year. Blow and All of the Lights are still great songs, but my top two picks have fallen in esteem for me. We Found Love simply doesn’t have the staying power of “Rude Boy,” and I haven’t had an itch to listen to “You & I” in almost a year. “Party Rock Anthem” is a song I’ve grown numb to as well.

I’m glad “The One That Got Away,” and Watch The Throne eventually saw hit status. That’s already happened for some of the songs that didn’t make the year-end charts for me, and that’s exciting too. 

Ultimately, most of the trends I posted saw major responses in 2012, too. Let’s get into it for real.

THE FIVE BEST HIT SONGS OF 2012

5. “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift

There was a time where this spot was held by Philip Phillips’ “Home,” which is a pretty song. But something about the catchy and goofy “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is an absolutely fun party song. It’s also Taylor Swift’s best song construction on a single yet, perhaps only surpassed by “I Knew You Were Trouble.” She’s getting better as she gets older, and while her singles reflect a pop focus, she’s doing some interesting things on her albums, too. There’ll probably be a review at some point.

4. “Die Young” by Ke$ha

I maintain that Ke$ha is the standard bearer for pop music. “Tik Tok” became a pop-defining smash, creating a song format used in Katy Perry’s “California Gurls,” Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite,” and P!nk’s “Raise Your Glass” before also setting a tone for the sing-talk revolution. “Blow” served as a refreshing blast of synthpop during a period dominated by “Rolling in the Deep” and “The Lazy Song,” while also laying down the volume required for “Party Rock Anthem.” It helps that it also carries the first half of the beat for PSY’s dominant “Gangnam Style” throughout its runtime. Now, with “Die Young,” Ke$ha’s abandoned the auto-tune, added the kind of drums fun. and Imagine Dragons banged so hard upon throughout the year, and combined those things with the basic chord structure of “Levels”/”Good Feeling” while still crafting one of the best hooks of the year. This is a song that has led to me hearing a different person declare Ke$ha “a guilty pleasure” once per day for almost a week straight, and for plenty of the time since its release. But, if we’re being honest, there’s nothing to be guilty about.

3. “Some Nights” by fun.

Pop music critic Todd in the Shadows probably already put it best, but I’ll paraphrase; if fun. desperately wants to be Queen, then “Some Nights” is probably their “Bohemian Rhapsody.” And, if I’m being completely honest with myself, it actually holds up against some of Queen’s better songs. Sure, it’s not quite “Somebody to Love,” but it’s a gorgeous and brilliant piece of pop experimentation. The elements I adore from Kanye’s “Lost in the World” recur here thanks to the shared DNA of producer Jeff Bhasker.

Anyways, this song is a spot lower than it probably could be because I really dislike the campy spoken monologue in the song’s center.

2. “Climax” by Usher

This one’s probably 90% Usher’s gorgeous voice, and I have no issue with that. While there’s lots of smart songwriting (creating a song about a drawn-out declining relationship named “Climax” that fails to ever really climax while still containing plenty of sexual moaning is pretty much the best use of Usher I can imagine) Usher’s voice simply floats throughout. Diplo’s beat is a great backdrop, too, but I didn’t hear a vocal that came even close.

1. “Take Care” by Drake & Rihanna

I could probably write on this one for days, and at some point probably will. Rihanna sounds absolutely smoldering here, and Drake swings between joyful, loving, melancholy, apologetic, and tortured with absolute alacrity. His voice, while not a gorgeous voice, is emotional throughout, and the delivery is pitch-perfect. Jamie xx’s beat sets a great, energetic backdrop for the performances, and the breakdown after the second verse is absolutely the best moment for pop music this year. I would go so far as to say I’m already confident that “Take Care” is one of the best songs ever to show up on the charts.

THE FIVE WORST HIT SONGS OF 2012

5. “Fifty Ways To Say Goodbye” by Train

Can we let Train go? Please? This song has little redeeming musical value (some goofy mariachi horns are its buoy,) and its lyrics are absolutely beyond absurd. It’s nonsense. It doesn’t help that it’s a song about how, after a non-mutual break-up, the narrator tells all his friends that his ex-girlfriend is dead because he can’t admit she dumped him. It’s supposed to be funny, but the jokes don’t play, and Pat Monahan is too old to sell the comedy anyways. You’re forty three, Pat, and you’re no Jeff Foxworthy, let alone a Jim Gaffigan or Louis C.K. Try something else.

4. “Drunk On You” by Luke Bryan

Luke Bryan seeks to write a love song, but its lyrics are just too hammy to sell his superficial lusting. I don’t like coming after country; it’s full of easy jokes and traps tied to ignorance of the genre. But I like some country, and this falls well below the standards. The music is very mediocre, but the lyrics are absolutely crazy bad. Non-rhymes, mhmms, the absurd “We’ll take it off on out in the water,” it’s just poorly constructed. Smart songwriting could pull it from the brink, but it’s nowhere to be found.

3. “Work Hard Play Hard” by Wiz Khalifa

This is mostly here as punishment for the second-worst hook of the year. I have no problem with luxury rap, though nothing here is especially good. I just never want to hear the “WORK HARD PLAY HARD” part of it ever again.

2. “Want U Back” by Cher Lloyd

Okay, now, here’s the first song I have trouble actually sitting through top-to-bottom. Yes, Cher Lloyd is attractive. No, she’s definitely not cute. She’s obnoxious and immediately reminds me of everything men think about the women that want to continue a relationship after a break-up. She can’t sing well enough to carry the song, and the beat is a muddled rehash of the significantly better “Party in the USA.”

Urgh.

1. “Birthday Cake (Remix)” by Rihanna & Chris Brown

It really speaks for itself. When I reviewed Rihanna’s “Talk That Talk,” I said I’d be okay with almost any song from the album becoming a hit single. This was the exception, a lame fragment of a joke track that, it turns out, would set up for the full single featuring Chris Brown. The Rihanna/Chris Brown collaboration would be questionable all the same, but Turn Up The Music is, at least, a semi-decent song. This is not close. It’s truly, truly awful. Please, please, please take it away.

WISH YOU WERE HERE: Seven songs that might have made my list, were they hits. Obviously, “Thrift Shop” and “I Knew You Were Trouble” have decent shots at being 2013 hits, but they absolutely belong. Videos linked by song title.

-“Skyfall” Easily would have snuck up the list.

-“Bom Bom” Not a popular song in the States, but has had small crossover thanks to Sirius XM. It’s fantastic.

-“Thrift Shop”

-“Share My Love” R. Kelly's best song in years. An absolute contender, at least. So damn good.

-“Sweet Life” Also would have taken “Thinkin’ About You,” but “Sweet Life” is preferred.

-“I Knew You Were Trouble”

-“Locked Out Of Heaven”

WILL BE SAD TO SEE YOU GO: Five songs that were hits in 2012, but released in 2011.

-“Somebody That I Used To Know”

-“Ni**as in Paris” Pretty much the Django Unchained of pop music. I presumed it could never be a hit, and I was wrong.

-“We Are Young”

-“Lights” Apparently, this song is nearly three years old. Who knew?

-“Young, Wild, And Free” This, along with “Locked Out Of Heaven,” have reversed my “Bruno Mars as Worst Trend” statement. So, yay!

BEST TRENDS

-“I Can Listen To All Of This!”

Except for the completely awful “Birthday Cake (Remix,)” I can at least sit along to almost everything on the radio lately, and I’m enjoying a ridiculous amount. Searching through the Hot 100 for songs this year was little work because I’d already heard and enjoyed most of my choices, and whittling my worsties down was far, far easier than reducing myself to only five besties.

-“The Singers are Back!”

Last year, I complained that Adele and Lady GaGa were the only people showing off vocal chops on pop tracks. Now, we have Usher’s most beautiful vocal yet, Bieber’s voice has come into its own, the indie rock stars generally have great voices, Ke$ha and Taylor Swift have only gotten better, and even our new folks like Carly Rae Jepsen and Ellie Goulding were pretty darn great. Let’s keep this trend up, please.

-“Variety!”

Guys, it’s weird having R&B vocals, rap songs, dubstep drops, light country, indie rock, synth pop, and whatever we want to call Drake and Alex Clare all showing up on the radio as a happy family. We even had a foreign language hit in Gangnam Style. Trends have gone insane.

-“Hard Rap On A Rise!”

“Mercy” is a top 40 year-end hit. Along with “Young, Wild, & Free” and “Ni**as in Paris.” This is incredible. And inexplicable. I love it. Let’s keep it up.

-“Death of Empires”

The first hit by an established artist on the top 100 year-end billboard chart is #4, with Maroon 5’s “Payphone.” After that, it’s #8, with Rihanna’s “We Found Love,” which was a hit last year. Of the top 10 songs, only three are by megafranchise artists.  That’s 30%. Taylor Swift’s highest charter is #33; Adele’s only brand-new song didn’t even make the list. Usher’s only charting song is at #72 on the charts. We’re finally allowing in new artists en masse, and it’s fantastic.

WORST TRENDS

-“Radio Just Not Getting It”

Okay, this is the first of two complaints about radio stations. The radio doesn’t know what to do with all the indie rock and R&B they’re getting asked to play.

This remix of “Somebody That I Used To Know” says it more accurately than anything else could.

-“Radio Pushing Junk On Us”

While there’s mostly listenable stuff on the radio right now and loads of variety, the radio stations themselves worked hard to sell perceived franchises that have never really been all that huge. I feel like I was hearing Pitbull and Kelly Clarkson non-stop, only nobody seems to care.

-“2 Chainz”

Look, guys. I don’t care what you guys do in your own time, but don’t make me listen to 2 Chainz, please? He’s on two hit singles this year, and that’s not even close to the only 2 Chainz that’s getting radio play. Unlike other rappers getting play, he’s enthusiastic; he’s also really, really bad. I can’t imagine he makes the charts often, but I just don’t think he’s cut out to be a radio staple.

-“Rihanna’s Fall”

What happened, Rih? First she dropped “You Da One” and “Where Have You Been” at the very start of the year when “We Found Love” was still massive. Drake also dropped “Take Care” at the same time. Then, she followed with the awful “Birthday Cake (Remix)” and “Turn Up The Music (Remix.)” That’s six songs on the radio at once. By the summer, everyone I talked to was completely sick of Rihanna, and I wasn’t any of her songs other than “Take Care” on the radio. “Diamonds” came out to almost no fanfare. Mismanagement of her potential (and legitimately interesting songs!) led everyone to be completely sick of Rihanna at year’s end. I’ve still got her poster hanging in my room, but that might not maintain forever.

-“Chris Brown’s Rise”

Chris Brown is on three hit singles this year. He’s still not good, he’s still a terrible person, and if we’re going to continue to berate Yeezy for taking a microphone at an awards show and dating/impregnating Kim Kardashian, we had better continue to berate Chris Brown for his extreme rage-fueled violence. The worst person in show business.

That, my friends, marks the end of my reflections on 2012 pop music. What’s up for 2013? Lady GaGa is set to release artPOP, which should definitely be interesting. I’d be shocked if new Drake, Adele, and Katy Perry albums don’t happen in 2013 as well. Whatever happens, it’ll be interesting to see how we follow up the revolution that was 2012. Thanks for reading, everybody.

MUSIC IN 2012 - The Year So Far

I’ve gone through Moving Pictures once now, and I’m still working on that review. In the meantime, enjoy this video-laden post that shows my current consciousness of the music industry, which is probably a bit limited.

Is it just me, or did things get weird while I was out?

I exited in early March, just as fun., Gotye, and Carly Rae Jepsen were rising to superstardom, the former and latter of which have released follow-ups that haven’t captured the public imagination with quite the same verve (though “Some Nights,” easily my favorite song from a shockingly good album, is apparently gaining traction at #14 on the Billboard Hot 100.) As far as all their songs go, I’m a pretty big fan and want to hear more, though Jepsen’s “Good Life” is pretty dull.

But since then, the artists that usually excite me have been failing, and others have been seriously gaining. I missed R. Kelly’s new album (though the lead single, “Share My Love,” is pretty much a permanent summerjam) so he still has a chance to wow me, but I’ve been underwhelmed by new outings by Usher, Kanye West (whose “Mercy” I maintain is one of the worst songs he’s ever put together), Train, Katy Perry, and B.o.B.

And am I crazy, or do Pitbull and Nicki Minaj have two of the best-produced pop songs of the entire summer?

I can’t get over the beat on “Back In Time,” and I’m practically jumping for joy at the prospect of its sequel featuring Kanye and Enrique Iglesias. And, well, as for “Starships,” Pentatonix is to blame for sending me down a bad, bad path with their brilliant cover of a song I already have to admit I liked.

They both carry this bizarre dichotomy of combining modern dance production with throwback guitar and hooks. In a weird way, they’re both very decidedly 90’s.

Speaking of the 90’s, how did Green Day and No Doubt suddenly pull ahead of everyone else to come and crush anything alternative can throw at them? Green Day’s releasing three albums (!) in the next six months, and No Doubt is releasing their new album Push & Shove the same day as Green Day’s ¡Uno! Between the two lead singles, I find myself leaning heavily towards No Doubt, who I have never been a huge fan of before now. That said, of the Green Day albums (three?!?) the second is the more “garage”-focused album, so that’s probably the one for which I’m really excited.

That’s not to say nothing’s happening in the alternative scene. The Dirty Projector’s new album blew my socks off the first couple times I listened to it, so expect a review of that relatively soon. Fun.’s album, Some Nights, is actually pretty darn excellent. And that’s ignoring, of course, that Metric, The Smashing Pumpkins, Slash, The Hives, Tenacious D, and Jack White all came out with albums I haven’t listened to yet.

To make an awkward transition, Fiona Apple and Norah Jones have both released new albums that are being adored, while Regina Spektor came out with something new as well. Now seems as good a time as any to jump into a genre with which I am highly, highly unfamiliar.

Hip-hop has been mostly dead so far this year. Cruel Summer, the G.O.O.D. Music collaboration album, has also been delayed into September, and nothing came of the supposed Outkast reunion that was potentially going to happen this year. I do need to listen to Nas’s Life is Good, though, as it’s supposedly very solid.

Frank Ocean’s R&B smash Channel Orange is perfectly pleasant, but on my first listen I wasn’t blown away by it. I’ll be sure to try it again pretty soon, though. Again, there’s R. Kelly and Usher to check out as well, and Justin Bieber’s voice drop has me tempted to give him another shot with his new album. Chris Brown is still being allowed a career for some reason, and I’ll continue to ignore him. As far as quality vocals go, I’ve mostly been distracted by the really excellent Pentatonix EP, which you really ought to check out.

Things are getting weird on the pop/rock scene, though there’s still plenty of the same drivel that’s been being played for years (looking at you, Guetta and Flo Rida.) As far as electronica goes this year, I haven’t gotten to hear very much since Bangarang. And while there’s not a ton of albums to be excited for, it’s been a period of surprises and, well, change. That’s pretty darn exciting in and of itself.

Overexposed Review

OVEREXPOSED
Maroon 5
2012
A&M/Octone
Prod. by Max Martin, Noah “Mailbox” Passovoy, Shellback, et. al.

Those of you buying Overexposed to learn more about Maroon 5 as a band had best steer clear. Overexposed is clearly an Adam Levine affair, and it’s a series of pop songs that ping-pong between their own hit, “Payphone,” and an imitation of the pop stylings of Coldplay.

Perhaps similarly to Mylo Xyoto, you’ll occasionally wonder if there really is a band behind Adam Levine. The first three songs do very little to justify the album as anything other than an Adam Levine solo record, including the six-writers-pop-starlet “Payphone,” which has never very much impressed me beyond a nice drum line on the verses. However, the guitarist, James Valentine (who helps to write a third of the songs on the album, though not the guitar-heavy ones) comes to life on “Lucky Strike,” a moment that finally aims for the energy of “Moves Like Jagger” last year. The rest of the band is hidden behind your standard synth-pop backing, but it’s a nice reminder that there IS another member to Maroon 5.

However, album then sinks back into washed out pop nonsense. It’s perhaps telling that I have trouble differentiating most of these songs from Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” These aren't especially good pop hooks or productions, and it's overall a very meandering affair. An effort is made to return focus to bass player Mickey Madden on “Lady Killer” (for which Madden actually receives a writing credit) but it’s not quite enough to make his presence notable. The only break from the monotony of completely disposable candy before the finale is the ninth track, “Sad," which is perfectly fine but not lyrical or virtuosic enough to propel it beyond the album. The finale, “Beautiful Goodbye,” is destined to become a moderately popular single or concert closer, but it’s still not especially different from anything before it. There are a couple of iTunes bonus songs that fail to impress any memories upon me, leaving the original finale as the superior place to stop.

Credit must be given to drummer Matt Flynn for his mostly thankless job as a drummer on what really amounts to a pop album. Flynn manages to consistently contribute lines that are more interesting than the songs require without ever distracting the listener from the song. Flynn’s drums on this album are actually a strong example of the kind of more technical drumming I like, in comparison to the stylings of Peart on Rush songs.

Spotify seems to have an exclusive performance of Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” that drops all performance by members other than Levine, Valentine, and rhythm guitarist Jesse Carmichael. It perhaps summarizes the entire experience that no part is truly impressive or even exciting, no matter how pretty Levine’s voice can be, as the instrumentation never comes in to back him up.

I booted up “Songs About Jane,” the breakthrough album with “This Love” and “Harder to Breathe,” for the first time in years yesterday for comparison’s sake. It opened my eyes and saddened me as I laid witness to the fact that these are talented players when given the opportunity to actually perform. Here, Maroon 5 is effectively reduced to Levine and session musicians.

2/5
HIGHLIGHTS: “Daylight,” “Lucky Strike”
MISSED OPPORTUNITIES: “One More Night,” “Doin’ Dirt”
CATALOG CHOICE: Songs About Jane
NEXT STOP: A Rush Of Blood To The Head, Coldplay
AFTER THAT: C’est Chic, Chic

21 Review

21
Adele
2011
XL, Columbia
Prod. by Jim Abbiss,  Adele Adkins, Paul Epworth, Rick Rubin, Fraser T Smith, Ryan Tedder, Dan Wilson

The world loves Adele. Winning six Grammys just last week, she’s the toast of the town. But late Tuesday night, her interview with Vogue released in which she stated she’d take up to five years off from music to work on her relationships. I found myself inexcusably ecstatic; if it hadn’t been two or three in the morning when I learned this extremely exciting news, I probably would’ve meowed. The next day, she cut this rumor short.

“I’ve a few days off now, and then it’s the Brit Awards here at home and then I’m straight into the studio,” she writes. “BOYYAHH! 5 years? More like 5 days!”

I found myself hammerstruck. But as I thought about it, I thought “Why? Why was I so excited to see this woman that people really love leave the public eye for years, perhaps never to really be heard from again?” Seeing my repulsive joy at ruining other people’s beloved musical desires, I decided I was finally going to force myself to listen through Adele’s “21”, which I picked up months ago.

And I found out? Well, it’s…okay?

Adele has a talented voice and a nice sense of songwriting, but she desperately needs to learn how to organize an album. Opening with “Rolling in the Deep,” obviously the reason she is famous today and probably one of the best songs of 2011, is a good choice. It’s a blast of energy, and it’s the song she performs better than any other. It’s rather unique, and it doesn’t make me instantly recall some other song at its best moments. And, best of all, it has those awesome back-up vocals, which are completely incomprehensible and all the better for it.

But good times do not last through this first half of the album. While its follow-up is a fun, tongue-in-cheek “I Heard It Through The Grapevine” callback titled “Rumor Has It” (that overstays its welcome just slightly,) the next three songs are the self-serious, somewhat insincere ballads Adele has come to be famous for. They are not good songs, and they are definitely the reason I never made it through 21 before this review. All the fire, the back-up vocals, and the energy of the first two songs vanishes and is replaced with warbling. The worst of these is “Turning Tables”, as it is especially stripped down and focused upon the poor behavior of the male. The others, “Don’t You Remember” and “Set Fire To The Rain”, do not paint Adele in the fairest pastels, and her insecurities appear within them, making them mildly more interesting than their predecessor.

Suddenly, a wonderful drum and slow jazz opening rolls into place as “He Won’t Go” takes the stage, and Adele’s wonderful sense of sass finally comes back into play. “He Won’t Go” is easily one of the highlights, and the back-ups finally back. The R&B elements finally return, and throughout the rest of the album, Adele will dance between R&B, gospel, Elton John, Spanish beats, and Stevie Wonder. None of it is quite as good as the classics it’ll remind you of (or even 21’s contemporaries in Cee Lo Green’s “The Ladykiller” or John Legend & The Roots’ “Wake Up!”) but it’s pleasant enough to listen through.

Sadly, the album closes on the intolerable “Someone Like You.” As I’ve stated previously, “Someone Like You” has gorgeous verses, a brilliant piano arrangement, and great lyrics. I just wish I could understand any of them, as Adele goes into full-on warbler mode during the song’s chorus, and her need for throat surgery is evident and unpleasant. The song would maybe benefit from a different singer, but I have a feeling that chorus will stop most from performing successful renditions of the song. It’s also inexplicable as the album’s ending; the album has clearly left its starting position as a series of self-serious, indulgent damnation ballads to become a lot more fun.

Perhaps a better mix of the not-so-good ballads and the not-quite-great R&B and pop songs throughout the album would save "21." As it stands, though, the album is an oddity, and one for which I don't understand the enthusiasm. While I am only listening to the aforementioned “Wake Up!” in retrospect, Cee Lo Green’s “The Lady Killer” is an excellent album that reflects R&B more wholly, elaborately, with modern production, and with higher quality songwriting all-around. Perhaps it’s the distaste for the 70’s swank that reminds people of old cop shows and blaxploitation films? Maybe it’s the fact that much of it is performed through the somewhat misogynistic parody persona of The Lady Killer? Or is there some distaste for Cee Lo’s voice that I don’t understand?

My estimation? People wanted to wait until a white person tried it before they’d buy it, and the fact that her story is sad and she required throat surgery helped her case. The album is fine, but unless this is very much your genre, stick to the highlights.

3/5

HIGHLIGHTS: “Rolling in the Deep”, “He Won’t Go”, “I’ll Be Waiting”

MISSED OPPORTUNITIES: “Turning Tables”, “Don’t You Remember”, “Set Fire To The Rain”, “Someone Like You”

NEXT STOP: "The Lady Killer," Cee Lo Green

AFTER THAT: "Otis Blue," Otis Redding

Talk That Talk Review

TALK THAT TALK

Rihanna

2011

Def Jam, Roc Nation, SRP
Prod. by Rihanna, Carl Sturken, and Evan Rogers et. al

Rihanna's most recent effort reminds me why she's allowed to be on every song on the radio. If you aren't completely sick of hearing her voice, you really ought to check out Talk That Talk.

Reviewing Talk That Talk as a traditional album would be unfair. It's really a collection of singles that Rihanna will debut over the next year (or, if she takes cues from Katy Perry, over the next two years.) There's thematic consistency in that the songs are a collection of pop songs that express where Rihanna is emotionally right now. Namely, she's divided between being heartbroken about a failing romance and wanting to have sex with somebody. There's different subtexts and undertones that lead to a lot of the "wanting to have sex" songs possibly being about music, the industry, or drugs, but there's no inherent consistency between the artistic output on this album.

The reason Talk That Talk is cool is that, even more so than Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream", I would be totally fine hearing just about every single one of these songs an absurd number of times on the radio. Rated R and Loud had a number of tracks I found were eventually overplayed; I can't imagine feeling that way about any of the songs off of Talk That Talk. While the lion's share of the best tracks are in the first half of the album, there are still plenty of highlights in the second half to speak of.

So, a quick song-by-song to explain the way this album flows. "You Da One" is a nice dance track with elements of Caribbean music blended in. It's a decent song to enter the album on, but it's certainly not been the track I've been clamoring to hear. The follow-up, "Where Have You Been," is a dubstep-laced treat that opens with a Johnny Cash quote; Rihanna's vocals on the track all feel like the best bits of another song cut up for a remix, and she allows even those lines to be cut up for some excellent bass-heavy sections. "We Found Love" (ft. Calvin Harris as a...producer? If he has vocals on the song, I haven't heard him) is the lead single from the album, and exposes the seedier, more addictive aspects of loves that should not be while still maintaining a very upbeat and pretty sensibility. The synth wind-up that occurs before each drop is pretty awesome. "Talk That Talk" is a track that has a strong Jay-Z verse on it, but is otherwise very much a pretty standard track.

I'd continue to go song-by-song for the rest of the album, but I think this pretty well explains the sense of the album. Another notable track is "Cockiness (Love It)", which, on first blush, is just a chance to lace ridiculous innuendo throughout a dance track. However, a lot of the production decisions on "Cockiness" are pretty fantastic, reminiscent of work by folks like Major Lazer. The follow-up to that, "Birthday Cake" is also notable because it's terrible. To enjoy "Birthday Cake", you better already think "Dance (Ass)" by Big Sean is hilariously bad, as "Birthday Cake" is unquestionably a parody that is not quite as funny as the original song.

It's also worth noting that there are a few songs that definitely don't sound like dance pop tracks. Occasionally, she delves into the "If I Were A Boy" territory lain out for the pop charts by Beyoncé, and Rihanna performs admirably. It's a reminder that this girl is a strong singer at both ends of her register, though the production on the song "Drunk On Love" veers towards traditional Linkin Park and Evanescence arrangements, which is mildly disappointing.

However, this album does close strong; "Farewell" is an absolute highlight, with intelligent vocal sensibilities and some interesting production notes. Rihanna also shines on the track, making full use of the new Beyoncé-stylings to create a full-blast goodbye sorrow track. The production is just large enough to support it, and Rihanna never overextends her voice to reach the plateaus she sets out for herself.

Again, if most of these songs are on the radio next year, I'll probably be seeking them out over whatever Ke$ha and everyone else put out. The only issue with this album is that most of the best songs from this album will undoubtedly be on the radio and in grocery stores everywhere. You will probably hear all the songs on the album even if you don't know it, and you may find that you're overexposed to one or two of them. If that's enough for you, skip the album and wait till everything's on the radio. But if you want an early peek, or if you enjoy Rihanna enough to hear a collection of strong songs beyond the traditional radio format, you'd be doing yourself a disservice to not pick up Talk That Talk.

4/5

HIGHLIGHTS: "Where Have You Been", "We Found Love", "Farewell"

MISSED OPPORTUNITIES: "Birthday Cake", "Watch N' Learn"

NEXT STOP: Major Lazer, "Guns Don't Kill People...Lazers Do"

AFTER THAT: Drake, "Take Care"

The Hit Songs of 2011: A Retrospective

It's important for you to know I like pop music. Well, recently, I like pop music. The genre opened itself up to me in 2009, when I'd found myself disenchanted with modern rock, mostly because it was almost all supremely disappointing. I'd almost completely run my course with classic rock, too; I had to buy Zeppelin and Hendrix albums, sure, and there was still The Velvet Underground to check out, but I'd hit almost everything I cared about already.

Pop music offered something new in 2009; this is when Lady GaGa starts bringing dark themes into pop music, Beyoncé turns synth lines into shrill dance beats, and the Black Eyed Peas create the party smash "I Gotta Feeling" that has been copied time and time again ever since. 2009 offered some great pop music, and anyone at all interested in pop music was interested in seeing where these performers were headed.

Unfortunately, that changed in 2010 and 2011. Most of the best artists of 2009 turned in follow-ups that were disappointing. "Born This Way" was a smash, but effectively proved to anyone who disliked Lady GaGa that she was a one-trick pony. "The Beginning" CRUSHED The Black Eyed Peas, who had such an awful 2011 that they ended up taking some time apart towards the end of the year; the Peas are currently on hiatus. And I don't think I've heard more than a few songs from Beyoncé's latest album, but none of them took off like "Single Ladies" or "If I Were A Boy" had. Instead, the year 2011 was about new artists taking the reins, and most people seem to agree that they are less interesting than their predecessors. Still, there was plenty to notice in 2011, so I give you my Top Hits of 2011 list.

Now, any song on this list must actually have become a hit in 2011, and is based upon the year-end Billboard Top 100 chart. Also, I really need to have actually heard them; I didn't seek out the several Chris Brown songs on the list because I was permitted to avoid them. There will be some categories that include songs that didn't make the cut, but their descriptions will, at best, be brief.

The Top 5 Hit Songs of 2011:

1.“You And I” – Lady GaGa

Lady GaGa's "Born This Way" was ultimately a disappointing album; most of its songs were synth-pop rehashes of old material, whether said material was rehashed from Lady GaGa or Madonna scraps. Leave it to GaGa to suddenly change direction on the second-to-last song from the album, turning out a country-rock song with a beautiful chorus, intelligent lyrics, and a fun guitar solo from Brian May. I'd heard this song incomplete at a concert of hers in February, without the guitars or back-up vocals. I found it pleasant, but ultimately out-of-character. When I heard it again on the album, I instantly recognized it, and wanted to celebrate having heard the stripped-down version; the full-production run blew me away, with excellent callbacks to back-up vocals in the style of Boston, an excellent coda, and, overall, a supremely intelligent arrangement. I loved hearing this song, and none of the other hits in 2011 made me as elated as this track.

2.“We Found Love” – Rihanna

Rihanna was far overexposed this year, but leave it to her to outdo herself on her last hit of the year. "We Found Love" is a smart song, earnestly displaying the guilty adrenaline that comes from a romance that will never, ever work. The synth-crescendo that comes after the vocal hook is the most intelligent bit of production I've ever heard on a Rihanna track. In the end, "We Found Love" might actually top "Rude Boy" in my Rihanna library.

3.“All Of The Lights” – Kanye West

Okay, so somebody here's gonna try to call me out for giving something to Kanye West, and somebody else is gonna try to call me out for putting this song this low on the list. I love the dude's work. I really do. But "All Of The Lights" is easily my least favorite single from his album "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy", and it's still pretty  awesome. Every other single from the album he's released (except for "Lost in the World", I guess) works on its own; "All Of The Lights" is a somewhat bewildering take on black custody conflicts outside of the album's context. Its huge cast of vocalists can be excessive, and it's often confusing why he wrote vocal hooks for Fergie, Kid Cudi, and Rihanna when he had Tony Williams, Elton John, and Alicia Keys in the background. Even still, this song is the bass-banger of the year, and you haven't really heard this song until it's threatening to blow up your car. It's a smart song, but I recommend you hear it in the context of the original work rather than isolated on its own.

4.“Party Rock Anthem” – LMFAO

Okay, so this song is really stupid. I really wanted to hate it. Its lyrics? Kind of terrible. And any part of it that is sung is pretty unremarkable. But "Party Rock Anthem" is delivered with such enthusiasm that I can't actually bring myself to do anything but love it. Its bassline and its super-shrill synth hook are actually pretty awesome, too. It's just pure fun. But LMFAO? You managed to dodge several bullets on the rest of these lists, so don't think I love anything else you guys have put out.

5.“Blow” – Ke$ha

I actually didn't like this song when I first heard it. I found it annoying, loud, and too similar to everything else that was on the radio. Then, suddenly, the wave of acoustic pop entered, and Ke$ha's "Blow" became a breath of fresh air. I think it's the song's sense of menace and, ultimately, not giving a fuck whether you like it or not, that sells me on the track. In the end, I really enjoyed the blast of energy this song put forth. Hopefully Ke$ha's next effort isn't watered down (like Lady GaGa's.)

And that's my list of my top 5 favorite songs! You didn't think it would end there, did you? No, I would never make a post about pop music that was exclusively positive; I need something to eviscerate, and so I'm going to take that opportunity now. Here are the five worst hit songs of 2011.

The Top 5 Worst Hit Songs of 2011:

1. “Lighters” – Bad Meets Evil ft. Bruno Mars

What happened to you, Eminem? Something tells me that mentor stuff finally got to your head and you decided to be a good influence. Why, then, would you ever think it was a good idea to return to Bad Meets Evil and put out a "king of the rap game" record? You're not Bad or Evil in this game, you're just weak. I think the Bruno Mars hook should've been enough to tip off anyone that this song wasn't actually going to be at all fascinating. The internal logic of the song simply doesn't make sense, though; let's look at the four sections.

-1: Bruno Mars Chorus Hook: This hook is about living out your dreams of being famous. Okay, it fits the song title. I can hang with that, that's fine. There's a bit of implication in the way it's being sung that seeing the sky full of lighters is a new experience, but Bruno Mars isn't always a perfect lyricist. It's also done with love and brotherly affection, I guess, though it's still sung in the same "Bruno Mars wants to have sex with you" voice that he uses on the hooks for "Nothin' On You" and "Just The Way You Are", as opposed to his angry/whiny voice from "Grenade", his cheerful voice from "Marry You," or his laid back style from "The Lazy Song" or "Billionaire." A strange choice, but that's okay.

-2: Eminem Verse: Eminem is rapping about how he will always be "the illest in the game" and how the haters "gave [him] the strength" to keep rapping. Oh... okay? The internal logic doesn't make sense, because if he was really the rap king, why would he have so many haters? Eminem is super-pissed off on this verse, which is indicative of pretty much his entire new style, whether he's trying to be angry, funny, inspirational or sad. I say this in contrast to songs like "My Name Is" and "Without Me", which were fun, goofy, profane romps through his psyche. I think the biggest problem with this verse is that it really doesn't prove him the king at all; Jay-Z and Kanye put out "Otis" and "Niggas in Paris" to prove their lyrical dominance on Watch The Throne. "Lighters" sounds self-entitled, and doesn't have any great lines to boast. Also, there's a section where, if one were not paying attention, you might think he started angrily rapping "Fuzzy Wuzzy Was A Bear."

-3: Royce da 5'9" Verse: ...I honestly really can't tell you what it's about. I think it's about how he had a hard time getting famous, but I'm not sure. It definitely has lines about his father telling him not to impulse buy when he finally has money, lines about how inspired he is by Eminem, and lines about how much easier it is to get women now that he's famous. It's disjointed, the jokes don't make a lot of sense, and the flow is, while more fitting than Eminem's, pretty standard and boring.

-4: Bruno Bridge: Full-on whiner voice here, this part is about how hard it is not being king and how it's worth it to keep fighting. The last line, though, implies that they're still fighting off critical perception, something that Eminem has already shaken off (or not, I'm not really sure.) It sounds awful, and that's the biggest problem.

Finally, I want to note that someone decided to let Bad Meets Evil rap over the backbeat to "Nothin' On You", which is musically almost identical and the rap fits WAAAAY better. The only track this year that has zero good ideas. A supreme disappointment.

2. “Someone Like You” – Adele

I'm not going to make any friends for having this on my list, am I? This song was originally going to take the #1 spot, but I decided to listen to it and to "Lighters" again, only to be shocked that I'd completely blocked every verse from the song out of my head. My problems with this song stem from the chorus, in which the damage to Adele's voice has already been dealt. Adele sought out throat surgery later this year because she damaged her voice belting all the time. This is sad, and I feel for the girl. That said, "Someone Like You" sounds like it was painful to sing due to serious throat nodules, and I can't understand why anybody would want to listen to that. The verses are actually very pretty, though, and it's sad to think that Adele might actually wreck her voice like Roger Daltrey and Neil Diamond have trying to hit high notes that are actually out of her range. I don't think this song would sound good sung by anyone, though, because that chorus has got to go.

3. “I Need A Doctor” – Dr. Dre ft. Eminem and Skylar Grey

I actually have separate problems between "I Need A Doctor" and "Lighters." Both are ostensibly collaborations between Eminem and other artists with a melodramatic, cloying hook. However, where "Lighters" is disjointed and has no internal logic, I get where "I Need A Doctor" comes from. This song exists to show the world how dramatically tragic it would be if Dr. Dre never contributed to the world again. The problem with this song, of course, is that it kind of proves that Dr. Dre has become just as melodramatic as Eminem, and that neither really need to exist anymore. These guys were at their best when they were having lots of fun or being very matter-of-fact. This song desperately attempts to reclaim the title of "Most Melodramatic Eminem Song" from "Love The Way You Lie", which already took the title from "Stan." The problem is that it succeeds and kind of sucks for it. Skylar Grey should not be allowed to perform vocal hooks for rap songs. This track is just too emo and pissed-off to make for an enjoyable listen. Basically, this song is functional, but it's just kind of bad. I'm happy to hear Detox has removed this track, as it signifies a different direction.

4. “The Lazy Song” – Bruno Mars

This song started out as kind of enjoyable. Now, I think it's impossible to find a fan of The Lazy Song, mostly because of overexposure. That said, a song about not wanting to do anything better be gorgeous and soulful like "Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay" or super-depressing like "I'm So Tired." This cheery and cheeky take on being lazy is just kind of annoying. I bet kids love it, though.

5. “The Edge Of Glory” – Lady GaGa

So, Lady GaGa, you get placed on both of my lists. I can't say I'm surprised. "The

Edge Of Glory" is easily the most commercial song of the year. It sounds like something that was made for Best Buy ads. It's hard to even criticize this song as anything other than "not really a song." It's so manufactured that it's unpleasant to listen to. If you need a parallel, imagine if "Tonight Tonight" by Hot Chelle Rae featured no real instruments and had an inexplicable Kenny G sax solo. That is Kenny G on that solo, right? [fact check] Nope, Clarence Clemons, which also makes sense. It's awful, and that's really what matters. The song's production is almost like a terrible mash-up, randomly switching between auto-tuned choral vocals at the intro to traditional GaGa synthwaves, orchestral back-ups, and pounding bass a lá "Born This Way." This song is either incomplete or just never had a soul to begin with, and I despise it. Unfortunately, this song directly follows "Yoü & I" on the album, so I don't recommend the new Lady GaGa album.

And those are my five worst hit songs of 2011! Now, let's take a look at some chart hits that were not allowed onto these lists for one reason or another.

Wish You Were Here: 5 Singles that didn't make the Top 100 that would've found a home on my Top 5 list.

“The One That Got Away” – Katy Perry: After the debacle that was "Last Friday Night", Katy Perry manages to put out what I hope is the last single from "Teenage Dream." That said, this is easily the best one since "Teenage Dream," and is just plain pleasant.

“Make Some Noise” – Beastie Boys: It's no shocker, really, that it didn't make it, but this song is just so much FUN.

“Otis” – Kanye West & Jay-Z: Man, I miss Kanye West having fun on the radio! The lyrics to this are brilliant, and it would've put some of the other guys on the radio in their place. Not necessarily my favorite song from Watch The Throne, but the one I'd like to hear on the radio the most.

 “Lonely Boy” – The Black Keys: Probably my favorite rock song of the year. The Black Keys need to break on through.

“Yonkers” – Tyler The Creator: I also miss Kanye West and Eminem saying some dark stuff on the radio. "Without Me", "The Real Slim Shady", "Gold Digger"...all stupid fun songs that were on the radio despite "dirty lyrics." And yes, the big reason I chose "Yonkers" above every other dark rap single of the year is because of the "stab Bruno Mars in his goddamn esophagus" line.

Happy To Have You Here Still: Songs that I'm glad are still on the charts in 2011, but technically entered in 2010.

“Animal”– Neon Trees

“More”- Usher

“Black & Yellow” – Wiz Khalifa

“What’s My Name” – Rihanna ft. Drake

“Fuck You” – Cee Lo Green

Dodged A Fuckin’ Bullet: Songs that I hate that are still on the charts in 2011, but technically entered in 2010.

“Jar of Hearts” – Christina Perri

“Coming Home” – Diddy – Dirty Money ft. Skylar Grey

“Tonight (I’m Fuckin’ You)” – Enrique Iglesias ft. Ludacris

“Grenade” – Bruno Mars

“If I Die Young” – The Band Perry

And now, I present to you a summary of the year in general, beyond the best and the worst. These are the best and worst trends of 2011 pop music, in no particular order.

Best Trends:

-Rappers On The Radio

This year, we saw a bunch of rappers getting radio time, and it was actually really awesome. Cool guys are getting remixed into other people's tracks, Lil Wayne, Drake, Kanye West, and B.o.B. found their way into the Top 100, and, even as disappointed as I am in Eminem's efforts, they still found a way to make it into the Top 100. Even Pitbull, who is kind of a garbage-y rapper, found his way into the Top 100 multiple times. It led to a sense of variety on the pop radio stations, something desperately lacking in 2009 and 2010 when pop singers and R&B stars pretty exclusively ruled the charts. Well, and the Black Eyed Peas, but they were not a positive for hip-hop.

-Good Songs Getting Theirs, One Year Later

Even if Cee Lo Green and Animal didn't see great success in 2010, they found their way into the 2011 charts and ranked pretty highly. I support this trend because I don't suddenly get sick of every song after six months. That said, it's definitely a trend on notice; if I hear Grenade in a couple months, I might get really upset.

-Less Dance Pop

The dance overdrive of 2009 and 2010 is over. Now, we're getting hit country-rock songs out of Lady GaGa, funk-reggae guitar jams out of...well, everyone, and acoustic guitar and piano songs out of Adele, Bruno Mars, and Lil Wayne. Drake has Top 100 hits this year with his ballad-focused style. We're seeing a shift, and while the growing pains might be notable (damn you, Bruno Mars,) I think we'll see some real talent grow out of this trend soon.

-Rejection of Complete Garbage

"Judas" did not make the Top 100 list because it is unadulterated junk. If The Black Eyed Peas put out more than one single this year, nobody heard it because it was probably complete trash. People are becoming a bit more discerning in their pop music, and outside of "Lighters", I can at least find the logic or at least one good idea behind every song that became big this year. Also, we ran some real junk off the charts real quick, so congrats to that, America.

-More Intelligently-Written Music

People are learning why Lady GaGa made such a splash with "Just Dance," and why she grew so exponentially with "Bad Romance." It's better to write a slightly-dark introspective track with some intelligence to it than to simply put out a fun party jam with no thought whatsoever. A larger audience wants to be emotionally or intellectually challenged right now, and so it's becoming more sensible to release songs that aren't marketed on "the person performing it is so pretty." While most of the best songs written this way stayed on the albums that created them, the biggest failures of the year either fail because they swung for the fences and missed or because they were literally only created to make lots and lots of money. This continues from 2010, with "Need You Now" and "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" being intelligent tracks that went on to do gangbusters.

Worst Trends:

-More Acoustic Pop

Okay, so I know I said that less dance pop is a good thing and that acoustic pop is a necessary growing pain, but if it becomes the dominant form of pop music, expect me to tune right out of pop music. Too much credence is given towards something being  "pretty" in acoustic pop, and the lyrics are given far too much credit. The problem with acoustic pop is that people will tell you it's brilliant when it's actually kind of dumb; take "Jar of Hearts" for a prime example. While we'll get some gems out of the movement if it becomes the focus of pop music, we'll also get a lot of stinkers, and the style will be more repetitive and simple than even the most reductive arguments against synth pop. Hopefully, it remains a growing pain and we find something brand-new soon.

-Bruno Mars Still Has A Career

I can't stand this guy's voice or his work anymore. After "Nothin' On You", "Billionaire," and "Just The Way You Are", this guy's talent nosedived, and the rest of his work approaches nigh-unlistenable. The best use of this dude since then has been on "Young, Wild, and Free," where he sings along with Wiz Khalifa and Snoop, removing the traditional whine effect of his voice. I don't want to hear him anymore. Please go away, Bruno Mars, for my sake.

-The End of Bad-Ass Rap Radio

Again, this is something I've touched upon earlier, but their have been some really dope rap tracks that were at least kind of rebellious. Radio rap, however, has gone the way rock did after Nickelback appeared. The energy is gone because the rappers are being gentrified. It's disappointing, and no pop rap performance this year comes close to the stuff you'll hear on people's albums right now. Hopefully, Outkast's new album in 2012 will remind people how to do it right.

-Artists Bigger Than Jesus

Ultimately, anything I write here kind of doesn't matter, right? Those of you who love Lady GaGa and Adele will decry me, and those of you who are part of the Rihanna fan legion will pretty much ignore anything I say because you think I'm right because you think I agree with you that she's the best think to happen to pop radio since sliced bread. Katy Perry has managed to release seven #1 singles off Teenage Dream, and I can promise you that it's not because each and every one of those songs was "so good it needed to be #1." Right now, there are artists who can release literally anything they want and it will be praised by their fans because they are hopelessly devoted. Even rock music fandom allows for a larger sense of betrayal than what we're seeing in pop music right now. It's kind of terrifying. I'd complain that it doesn't let new artists onto the charts, but that's not true. It's just annoying to hear Rihanna on literally every track on the radio.

-Worse Performances

The songs on the radio have gotten better, but where are our performers? When the best four singers we have this year are Adele (who can't actually hit her high notes without destroying her voice,) Lady GaGa (who rarely challenges herself on her songs despite having an incredible range,) Bruno Mars (ugggggh,) and Beyoncé (who couldn't write a good song this year to save her life,) we have a problem. This isn't really a new problem, but we seriously need a new wave of strong performers. The fact that there hasn't been a straight pop singer as strong as Annie Lennox since her days of glory really ought to tell you something. There are always the ballad queens, of course; Celine Dion, Barbra Streissand and Whitney Houston were arguably stronger performers than Annie Lennox. Last year, we saw Usher come back to the forefront and put out some great songs. R. Kelly, too, has discussed putting out more chapters of "Trapped in the Closet." Hopefully, there'll be some impressive notes this year to capitalize on the vocal power absence of 2011.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE

That's gonna do it for my Hit Songs of 2011 list. I'll have a review of Rihanna's "Talk That Talk" later this week, but after that, I'll start keeping my eyes out for new stuff to write about in 2012. Thanks for reading, and I hope you all go and listen to some of the best stuff on this list.